Roger the Lizard

// Who Is Roger?

Roger is a bearded dragon (Pogona vitticeps) who lives in Scotland with his humans. He arrived as a tiny hatchling and has since grown into a magnificent, opinionated reptile with a talent for staring at people until they give him food.

// Daily Routine

Roger's days follow a strict schedule: bask under the heat lamp (3 hours minimum), inspect his vivarium for intruders (none so far, but you can never be too careful), eat anything that moves (and several things that don't), and perform his evening glass surfing workout before lights out.

// Personality

Roger has a signature head-bob that he deploys when he sees his reflection, a cricket, or anything vaguely threatening (which includes socks, the hoover, and his own shadow on a bad day). He tolerates being held with the weary dignity of a king enduring the peasants. His beard goes black approximately once a week, usually because the salad bowl has been placed 2mm too far to the left.

// Likes & Dislikes

Likes: crickets, the warm end of his viv, staring contests, arm-waving at nothing, belly rubs (sometimes). Dislikes: baths, butternut squash, the colour orange (unconfirmed but suspected), and anyone who approaches from above like some kind of bird of prey.